Elizabeth Warren Offer Cannabis Community Trojan Peace Pipe

Beware: tail-faced senator who speaks of cannabis has forked tongue. (Ryan Kondakor)

How. I called “hacker who cared too much” for defense of little papoose. I ask your vote, I ask your help, replace tail-faced impostor now claim to speak for tribe while she only serve self and Harvard allies. 

Please take care not be fooled by smoke signals rising up from chameleon’s wigwam talking of cannabis. Do not share her phony peace pipe, her family killed Native peoples. 

When tribes have nothing, tail-faced Senator make war on drugs against us. Now try to make money and she claim membership, want in. Suddenly, to her state’s rights big deal and she sound like libertarian, except true libertarians mouth not water at bottom tax revenue paid by visitors to medicine there.

Impostors talk as real as false claims of parent’s secret betrothal. On 15th day of first moon, phony squaw say:

“I’m working with a bipartisan group to try to roll back the changes that the attorney general has made so that the states can make their own determination about their marijuana laws and how they want to enforce them.”

Again, impostor claim is member of a group. But no other senator make statement like hers. By speak without others seems she tried cause all campaign gifts from all medicine men flow to her pale face like mighty river of acne. Cannabis tribe have word describe her behavior, call it “beaugarding.”

Worse, first moon now well over and where is new law? Where is “more information” of which she speak? Hollow like empty barrel is she. I say she “liberal who cares too little,” except about self and Harvard. 

Heed my tale. I defend other tribes’ papoose when Harvard allies of phony squaw make needless war and now 24 months they keep me. I no roam my homeland, no partake of pipe, no join with my squaw in greatest dance to make own papoose.

Brave who came before me was great man. He helped impostor and he perished. Again, big talk from phony squaw, but actions speak loudest and she no fight for him when count. Just as she no fight for you when count.

She leader of pale-faced Harvard tribe of chameleons with forked tongues. Rain gods not smile upon our tribe so long as phony squaw remain. 

Nine years ago, 63 of each 100 of our tribe want evil spirits stay away our cannabis and numbers only grow since then. But phony squaw spirit of mean, pipe-hating man who looks like crack-addicted Uncle Fester.

Phony squaw not make war against chief federal prosecutor who resemble Uncle Fester but scrawny.

Dumb man act like no such thing as prosecutorial discretion. He think we dumb as him. But we not.

Phony squaw could ask chief of chiefs send Uncle Fester to far away land. Instead she send phony letter to big chief, ask him do what her tribe won't let him. She set trap for him, but he not take bait.

We no take bait either, do we? 

Marty Gottesfeld is a Republican Senate candidate against incumbent Elizabeth Warren and an Obama-era political prisoner. You can donate to his political campaign at VoteMartyG.com and legal defense fund at FreeMartyG.com.